This situation feels like it deserves a Canadian bacon joke, but it would be too cliche. The sight of Sarah Palin getting dive-bombed by flying swine is all the humor needed.
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| Now imagine this thing airborn! (image from paizo.com) |
Yes, Canada has retreated! The Mounties and Moose Men have been pushed back to Lake Michigan thanks to the help of an even crazier post-apocalyptic freak of nature, the Winged Boars of Newark. Animals growing weird body parts is not uncommon, in fact an animal born in the last four months is more likely to have 3 eyes instead of 2. These mutated animals however are usually super strong, bad tempered and hard to train. The fact that the Canadian invaders could train moose to fight that quickly was one of the reasons they were able to blitzkrieg across the mid-west so quickly.
But just as the mutated moose with sharpened bloody antlers has come to symbolize Canada's military fury, so does the flying swine symbolize America's. The boars, specially bred in the heart of New Jersey, have been trained to fly carrying special bombs that are released by remote when over a target. Even without bombs the boars know how to drop radio active fecal matter on enemy forces that eats into human flesh. Sarah Palin, Canada's newly elected Tyrant in Chief, was caught on pig-cam getting a hit in the face with one such attack, and having half her face melt off like that Nazi's in Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Here's to all those pigs on the Jersey Shore.
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